What kind of monkey business is going on in this week’s Freak of the Week contest?

Each week, PictureIsUnrelated.com readers will have the chance to enter funny captions for the chosen Freak of the Week. Then, Weekly World News staff will select the ten finalists and post them here for viewers to vote on.

Help us pick the best caption for this new religion:

ROCKWOOD, TN – A Tennessee teenager is seeking help after he began crying blood!

Calvino Inman was your everyday 15 year old boy, until one day he noticed something strange coming out of his eyes. Realizing it was blood, his mother immediately took him to a hospital, but the doctors had no idea how to stop it.

Since then, Inman has “cried” blood at least three times a day, lasting anywhere from a few minutes to an hour. “Sometimes, I can feel it coming up, like a tear. I feel my eyes watering,” said Inman. “Sometimes, it will burn as it comes out.”

His friends have called him possessed, but currently there seems to be no other rational explanation. His mother has taken him to several specialists, but none have been able to offer a diagnosis or cure.

True Blood, a current HBO show, features vampires who also cry blood. However, Inman’s problem is very real.

Take a look at a recent interview with Inman, which features footage of him crying:

NEW YORK, NY – Parents are in an uproar after pictures of a supposed pole dancer doll were posted online!

It is unclear who originally took the photos and where the doll was found, but it is very clear what kind of “toy” it is:

The doll begins dancing when the music is turned on, and she goes “up and down” and “round and round”. While the doll itself does not look very provocative, the very concept of the toy is causing great distress amongst concerned parents.

A similar “toy” was yanked from shelves in Tesco, one of Britain’s largest chain stores. The Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit included an 8.5-foot collapsible pole, a “sexy dance garter,” and play money for “tips”. The packaging featured a cartoonish stripper, and the toy was listed under the Toys & Games section of Tesco’s website.

Despite being clearly marked as “adults only”, Tesco agreed to remove it from the section, instead including it in the Fitness category.