SAN ANTONIO, TX – A young woman accused of beheading a dog has admitted to being a werewolf!

Police are investigating the supposed beheading of a dog in San Antonio. on January 20, 2010, a photo depicting the decapitated dog head was posted on multiple internet sites.

The photo was analyzed by some viewers, and traced back to a cell phone owned by a man named Mark. Internet sleuths then discovered his main group of friends, and eventually determined that someone within the group beheaded the dog.

Authorities involved now believe the culprit to be Sarah Rodriguez, who prefers to be called “Wolfie Blackheart”. Although she appears to be human, she claims to be a werewolf!

She is apparently part of a “Wolf Pack” that dress and act like dogs, hang out in the woods, and eat raw deer. She  may also have a collection of dog skulls!

See her interview with local news below:

JAKARTA – New footage has emerged of what appears to be a UFO hiding behind a cover of clouds!

UFOs sightings that occur during the day are much harder to explain away, especially when caught on camera.

This video was recently released, supposedly shot in Indonesia:

So is it a UFO or just strange weather phenomena?

Meteorologist Karsten Brandt believes the footage is actually showing two layers of cloud, one on top of the other, with the upper layer being heavily illuminated by the sunlight.

CHARLESTON, WV – American Idol brought on a new celebrity guest judge: Bat Boy!

Currently American Idol is traveling the country, holding auditions to find the cast of its ninth season.  To keep audiences interested they have employed a rotating list of celebrity guest judges including stars and personalities from various media sources.  Recently they filmed an audition episode with a very special guest judge, America’s Favorite Mutant: Bat Boy!

Fox executives brought in the young mutant to help judge auditions being held for the first time in West Virginia.  Handlers from the company escorted the boy from his home and tried to explain to him what would happen.  Living in a cave and rarely watching television Bat Boy was unfamiliar with the basic format of the show.  There was more than a little confusion on how to handle the precocious mutant, and what he was supposed to do.

Production assistants tried in vain to reign in the precocious mutant, and had to pull him down from the lighting grid with a rake three times until someone thought to explain to him it wasn’t a jungle gym.  Costumers fought with him for the better part of an hour to get him to wear nice clothing, as he was reluctant to wear more than his usual cut-off shorts.  Makeup people had an easier time of working with him, particularly when they agreed to let him put makeup on them in return.

Bat Boy was introduced to the crew and his other hosts.  Suddenly with the lights and so many more people Bat Boy became somewhat shy.  He was introduced to Simon Cowell who recoiled visibly upon seeing the boy.  “Christ, they weren’t kidding about you were they?”  Recognizing that the boy was overwhelmed Randy Jackson took him aside and told him jokes until he was giggling.

Finally it was time to begin filming.  Hopefuls from all over Appalachia lined up for a spot on the show.  In total there were more than thirty auditions.  For the first several auditions Bat Boy didn’t understand exactly what was going on, and when young people started singing he would run over to them and start dancing.  Applicants mistook this for an attack by a large-eyed bat creature and ran screaming.  One young girl is now being being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Producers explained to Bat Boy that he had to stay behind the desk.

Bat Boy offered his thoughts and criticism as a judge and media personality to performers, but he can only speak in high pitched squeaks so many of the singers left confused.  When Simon Cowell would offer his trademark biting criticism, Bat Boy would go up and give the singer a big hug.  Cowell derided at Bat Boy for “coddling” people.  Bat Boy stuck his tongue out at Simon.  Eventually Cowell snapped and yelled at producers for having to work with Bat Boy, saying, “I refuse to let my career devolve into a freak show!”  Bat Boy cried in the makeup room until producers made Simon apologize.  Later, Simon Cowell’s car was found covered in eggs and guano.  Over a dozen crew members said that Bat Boy and Randy Jackson were somewhere else when it happened.

Fox insiders confirm that they will not be airing the West Virginia episode.

That Judge Alito guy is my new hero!

When the Teleprompter Kid was blabbing away at that State of the Union and telling all kinds of whoppers, Alito mumbled, “Not true.”

At first I thought: “They put that OJ Simpson judge on the Supreme Court?” But this Alito guy isn’t Chinese or whatever. Even so, he’s pretty smart!

Which is good because some of those other judges are lousy. Look at that Sotomayor: they let a Mexican on the Supreme Court, which is bad enough. But they didn’t even make her climb over a fence and running through two miles of sand! Plus I hear they’re paying her more than five bucks an hour!

Then there’s that little shriveled midget lady who always falls asleep! If that’s what they wanted on the Supreme Court, they should’ve just hired my mother in law. She’s seen enough of those judge shows on TV that she’d do just as good a job.

Both those women should go back to the kitchen and make sandwiches, and leave the real judging to the men, like Alito!

The thing is: I read about all this on the computer machine after it happened. I can’t actually watch that State of the Union thing because I’ll use up all my blood pressure pills in one night.

I also can’t afford a new TV in case I throw a beer bottle at the screen!

Just the sight of that Communist-in-Chief up there, lying away – I’m an old guy and can’t take it. If I survive the next three years, it’ll be a miracle – and I’m not even a Catholic, dammit!

You may have been abducted by aliens… and don’t even know it!

Aliens often erase the memories of people they abduct. But you can still determine if you’ve been taken aboard a starship or examined by extraterrestrials with tips from two of the world’s leading experts.

All you have to do is check for the telltale signs of alien abduction, including memory loss, sudden illness, unusual dreams, missing hair, bruises or strange marks on your body.

Those symptoms almost certainly indicate that you’ve been abducted by aliens.

“Many people have been abducted by aliens but can’t remember anything about their abductions,” said Dr. Brad Steiger, author of the bestselling book, The UFO Abductors.

“UFO abductees often find they have blank spots in their memories. In some cases it is simply a tantalizing sensation that there is something they are trying to remember but can’t recall.”

Another expert said: “Abductees frequently have recurring dreams or daytime visions about alien beings, spacecraft or extraterrestrial realms.

“They often discover unexplained wounds or scars. Or they mysteriously begin to suffer from physical problems.”

According to Dr. Steiger, the warning signs of alien abductions are:

1. The mysterious onset of illness, including insomnia, loss of appetite, nausea, headaches, a rash or fatigue.

2. The nagging sensation of having “lost” a period of time out of your life.

3. Complete memory loss.

4. The mysterious appearance of scars, bruises, puncture marks, burns or missing hair, suggestive of medical examination by aliens.

5. Recurring dreams. Some common images include extraterrestrial worlds or landscapes, and crystal cities.

6. Recurring daytime images. Common ones are aliens, UFOs or extraterrestrial scenes.

If you have experience two or more of these symptoms, Dr. Steiger advises you to look in your phone book and contact the UFO organization nearest you.

They should be able to put you in touch with someone who can hypnotize and regress you to the time of the abduction so you can remember it completely, the expert said.